The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house speedier than the police.
We have gun control. What we need is idiot control.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Some humans say “If you can’t beat them, join them”. I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them”, because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Laugh at your problems, everyone else does.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong…
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 1000 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.
For a complete readily accessible list of blogs and titles go to twitter.com/uldissprogis.
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