Monthly Archives: July 2013



 Being a traditionalist in a fast changing business world:

Unless you are the manager of a fast food business which doesn’t change much from year to year you are making a mistake if you like the way things are and want to keep it that way without change.

In a technologically changing world trying to maintain a status quo is going to hurt business in the long run if you don’t work towards a more efficient and competent workforce and new and better products.


Whining and trying to avoid responsibility:

If you are a pessimistic whiner who is constantly making excuses and blaming others for problems you will never be respected and it shows that you have bad judgment about accountability and an absence of confidence which demonstrates an almost total absence of leadership ability.


Being deceptive and not honest and sincere:

Manipulatively misleading your workers about your true thoughts about them and their performance is a form of lying and you will lose respect, trust, and efficient teamwork once the deception is exposed as it inevitably will.


Behaving dictatorially or tyrannically:

Trying to turn everyone into yes men and women without considering or using valuable feedback from workers who are dissatisfied or have better ideas on how to run the business will eventually lead to firing from someone higher up the hierarchical power structure.


Making empty threats:

If you threaten someone with punishment or the withdrawal of a privilege then follow through with it because you will lose credibility. If you make too many idle threats soon no one will believe you or be intimidated by the threats and you will start losing your power to get things done.


Craving power:

If you are a politician or bureaucrat then craving power can be a useful motivating force. If you are running a business then getting rich through the application of just rules and the achievement of worthwhile goals which benefit the customer should be your primary concern.


Ignoring the truth:

If you primarily listen to weak minded yes men and women who sugar coat the truth and tell you what you want to hear and not what you should hear which is the truth then you will fail sooner or later.


Making promises or commitments you don’t intend to keep:

Failing to follow through on a promise or commitment intentionally is a form of intentional lying and you will lose respect, trust, and obedience from your workers in the long duration.


Being grandiose and delusional:

Grand visions of a company as a goal and trying to get there speedily when it is not based on facts or reality will only lead to failure.


Doing what you know is wrong or against the rules:

Sacrificing good principles of leadership and behavior for greed or fear of repercussions and trying to cut corners may work in the short duration but in the long duration it will only lead to failure on a massive scale.


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A hundred years ago the one most important secret to a successful life was “learn a trade or a profession”.

Today the answer is the same but with a new twist.

“Learn a trade or profession which robots or computer software will not make obsolete in 10 to 20 years.”

It is no great secret by looking at the unemployment statistics for young adults, over 50% can’t find a job, that a liberal arts education is just not working any more towards a steady good paying job. The 21st century is the age of the internet and technology which is quickly destroying the old ways of doing things and replacing it with efficient job destroying robots and software.

Education will be revolutionized with interactive individualized online instruction which will make middle school and high school teachers almost extinct. Communication will be streamlined and almost no one will have the patience or desire to read verbose magazine articles, books of fiction, and literary textbooks. The writing profession will be replaced by efficient audio visual online instruction and entertainment. The verbose brainwashing print  and news media is on the road to extinction.

Almost no one will be reading just for the fun of it in the new future world.

Even traditional high paying professions like medicine will be largely replaced with diagnosing computer software which will take inputted symptoms, blood tests, and lab results and give a probable diagnosis and treatment regime.

Middle class jobs will largely be disappearing and there will be the technological, real estate, and government elite and the vast majority will be on government welfare surviving on limited resources. Already about 47% of the population receives some form of government welfare.

Thus the most important secret to a successful future life will be landing a good paying technologically saturated job. I wish the secret was not so devastating to the majority of future citizens living in the world today but that is going to be the new political and job reality so START PREPARING FOR IT BY BECOMING MORE TECHNOLOGICALLY LITERATE.

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Moderation may not be the speediest or best method to achieve many important goals in life but it is frequently the best method for average humans to live a balanced happy life.


Modesty is a moderate appraisal of one’s ability to achieve a goal(s). When it is great ability bragging is usually absent and frequently much credit is given to others.


An internal and/or external motivation(s) starts the achievement of any goal(s).


Opportunity is a subset(s) of circumstances which makes it possible to achieve a goal(s). You frequently need extensive knowledge and skills to be ready when opportunity exists.  Little adequate preparation will frequently make you pass an opportunity since opportunities rarely depend mostly on luck.  Good luck usually just makes the achievement of a goal(s) more probable and immediate.


A belief that a goal(s) will be achieved with a relatively great degree of probability and a general belief that good events will outnumber the bad events in life.

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If you are divorced without offspring then you will have a much easier time getting over your ex. If you have offspring your life will be permanently affected and you will have some strong feelings about the situation.

You will care what happens to your ex and will probably mostly blame him or her for the reason the divorce happened and erroneously think that the offspring will come to a similar conclusion when they grow up.

You will probably be jealous of his girlfriend and think that he is jealous of any boyfriend which you may have which will rarely be the case.

You will frequently be selfconscious about your divorce and what other people think about it but you shouldn’t be for your personal mental health.

When you get your career, kids, hobbies, yourself, and your life straightened out then you will be ready to meet someone and make a new committed relationship.

You may be vulnerable to dysfunctional relationships so don’t make the same mistake twice or three times by speedily marrying the wrong person over again.

When the offspring are with your ex use that time wisely to do something on your own or just to relax and don’t stress about the possible bad influence that your ex is having on them or unnecessarily hate the event.

If your ex has visitation rights and uses them then be ready to deal with the situation even if you marry again and would ideally like to start life over again without any interference from your ex.

Your offspring are frequently seen as a liability or excess financial responsibility by single men who will be more reluctant to commit than perhaps men who are divorced and have had offspring of their own and will have more in common with your life experiences.

Being divorced is much more common today than historically and is symptomatic of greater economic hardship and too much advertised sexual freedom or promiscuity. If you are smart you will consider a good job or career and a desire to be faithful in marriage as necessary prerequisites to any future commitments to marriage. If you are divorced then you should also consider improving your personality flaws and standards for a mate because most divorces fail because both and not just one spouse is to blame for the failure.


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The major key to a closer and better relationship is the ability to build a trusting relationship and always telling the truth is the fastest way of getting there. Always being honest and sincere is the key but there are 4 other things to also consider and do.

Stop silly arguments:

You will not always have the same opinion on things and will make mistakes along the way no matter how perfect you think you are or would like to be.

Accepting another’s opinion even if you disagree with it is being open minded and understanding that there may be another way of looking at the world in some or many cases. Instead of attacking an opinion which you disagree with and trying to force your opinion on another the proper approach is to discuss the opinion calmly and offering any counter evidence or facts which may disprove the opinion and support the one which you have.

Realize that when it comes to politics you can even disagree on general principles and still mostly agree on how to run family life in more agreeable detail. Realize that personal tastes and opinions which minimally affect family life are different and need agreement and acceptance and not argument.

Learn to apologize if you realize you have made a mistake or have attacked a relatively insignificant opinion in a highly emotional argumentative way. Making mistakes and relatively illogical emotional outburst are common in most relationships and a sincere apology is the best solution to the problems which it creates. An apology permits you to be much more open and not secretive in future communications.

Eliminate jealousy:

If you are not lying to each other and trust each other then jealousy should not even enter the picture. If one or both of you lie then jealousy can become a serious problem which refuses to go away. If one of you is a habitual liar then it is best to end the relationship sooner rather than later because it will inevitably destroy the relationship, frequently in a jealous rage.

Learn to communicate:

A strong relationship means that you can talk about any subject matter and neither partner has to feel defensive and keep opinions and facts a secret for fear that they will be emotionally attacked and not discussed in a rational calm way. If you are afraid that you will be shouted at for revealing a controversial opinion or fact then it is a question of a lack of trust which should be addressed. The more you conceal the greater will be the explosion once the truth or secret surfaces and the explosion can be avoided by constant revelations or truthful communications which hide nothing but discuss anything.

Pay attention or listen:

Listening to your partner and opening up takes much work and selfcontrol, especially if it is a frequently repeated topic which is beginning to bore you because it sounds like nagging.  Controlling personalities will frequently nag much if they don’t get their way so be prepared to live with a nag. If it gets too annoying tell them that it is hurting the pleasure that communicating should be and that you may not communicate as much in the future if it persists to the detriment of both of you.


Always being vulnerable to attack by always telling the truth and revealing your inner feelings and opinions takes courage but without such an honest strategy a trusting relationship will not develop and there won’t be a close and better relationship which is needed for a long duration marriage.


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Know what you want.

A confident, simple, truthful, and authoritative tone and content is necessary. Leaders should not convey uncertainty, doubt, indecisiveness, or fear in the tone of voice and content. Leaders should know what they want so that they are not for a loss of words when asked a question or asked for guidance. Knowing what the purpose or goals of the organization is and what the rules are for behavior are very important since you will be constantly reminding workers of them.  

Know when to use “but” or “and” properly

If a task or tasks were not done to acceptable standards then the word “but” can be used. We completed the tasks “but” the next time we will have to do it a little differently and/or we will have to put in more time and/or effort to succeed. If the task or tasks were done to acceptable standards then the word “and” should be used. We completed the job successfully “and” the next time we will have to do it a little differently and/or we will have to put in more time and/or effort.  

Resist superlatives

Leaders should not use superlatives which convey no meaning but are merely an attempt to create an emotional high. Amazing, awesome, unbelievable, incredible, epic, colossal, and out of this world should not be used. Great work, very good work, outstanding job, excellent, good attempt, nice try, on target, you did it, and well done are simple approving motivating words which create an optimistic rewarding emotional reaction which is believable and not exaggerated.  

Don’t convey uncertainty and vagueness

Use courageous, truthful, simple, accurate language to motivate action and not communications such as “This is kind of a tough situation” or “It’s sort of up to this team” which conveys uncertainty and vagueness.  

Use humor sparingly

Sometimes laughing at yourself or making fun of a past failure or mistake can relieve some stress and affirm that no one is perfect but seldom make fun of a worker who will assume that it is a form of ridicule and feel personally offended. Telling a funny story or joke is sometimes acceptable but you run the risk of someone not getting the joke or the humor and you may appear foolish which is not something a leader should exhibit.

Don’t get sidetracked

Sometimes a worker will ask a question which has little or nothing to do with the discussed subject or may even start complaining about an irrelevant topic such as family problems. Don’t feel obligated to answer such questions or complaints right away and stick to the topic being discussed. “We can discuss that another time” is an appropriate response so you don’t get sidetracked.

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There wasn’t enough chemistry or animal magnetism:

The most frequent reason a male does not call you back is because there wasn’t enough chemistry or animal magnetism that he felt for you. If on the other hand neither he nor you has been dating much then you may both be rusty on presenting your best somewhat flirtatious personality and the first date is more like a friendly get together and not a mating dance or ritual.

If you definitely find out that he hasn’t been dating much but you still find him attractive enough to want a second or third date then remember the old adage “nothing ventured, nothing gained”. Call him a few days later and thank him for a pleasant date and give him a little feedback about what you found interesting about him to boost his possible insecure ego a bit as a desirable male. If he just answers thank you and doesn’t ask you about a follow up date then don’t push any further because it is obvious that he does not have the same feelings or interest in you as you do for him.


You were a shy or talkative bore and didn’t touch on the things that you have in common:

If you are very shy on the first date and don’t ask questions about his favorite family members, best friends, best and worst experiences in his life, and favorite pastimes then the conversation will have been very boring and you both will not have the optimistic experience of sharing great moments in life and pinpointing common interests, likes, and loves.

Risking being a little nosey is far better than badly communicating and being an uninteresting bore. You may also find out things about him which will cause you to avoid a second date with him sooner rather than later in the relationship.

Talking too much about yourself non stop is also a way of boring someone, especially if what you talk about is not very interesting. Two way conversations are definitely preferable.


He is just too busy with an important job or personal priorities:

If he has a very responsible high paying job the reason he doesn’t call is that he may truly be busy with more important priorities in his life at that moment. If he does call at a later date then try to be understanding unless all his future dates also follow the same pattern. Then you may realistically begin to feel that you will be playing second fiddle to his job or friends.

Although a death or chronic illness in the family or some other equally bad news may be the reason that he doesn’t call it is not a very probable occurrence but you should be understanding if a bereavement or lingering chronic illness of a family member is presented to you as an excuse for not calling sooner.


He has an overinflated ego:

He thinks he is an irresistible handsome hunk and wants you to call him because he has very many other women to choose from and you are not priority number one. If you think that may be the case then move on with your life and other males.


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