Almost no one today speaks about behaving morally in public and humans make the wrong assumption that immorality is just another form of bad behavior and don’t realize that it is really very very bad behavior which needs a totally different reaction from you.

If someone lies to you, steals from you, or commits adultery then that is immoral behavior and you simply don’t forgive and forget and leave yourself open to future victimization. A close trusting relationship and friendship will never develop successfully if that human lies, steals, or commits adultery or is unfaithful to you in a nonmarital relationship.

There is a difference between intentional lies and unintentional lies which we can call bullshit. Society is riddled with myths (historical lies) and deceptions or hidden lies and what you may consider to be an intentional lie may actually be something which another human sincerely believes in and thinks it is the truth and so can be considered to be an unintentional lie. Be careful of accusing someone of lying because it may just be some bullshit that they actually believe in.

Language is also faulty and deceptive in its current form and humans have a tendency to say “you do that all the time” or “you always do that” when the fact is that you may only do it occasionally and it only seems that you do it always. The absolute black or white, yes or no, always or never bias in language usage does not kindly view exceptions to the general rule.

Maybe, sometimes, frequently, and probably are seldom used when they should be used for accuracy and clarity. The exceptions to the general rule may be why you think someone is lying to you. Language is an authoritarian structure designed for obedience and command execution. Do something always comes across as having to do it all the time when in fact you should only be doing many things some of the time when appropriate for the occasion. 

Bad behavior can be forgiven and an attempt can be made at trying to forget it because things like getting drunk at a social gathering, spouting profanities, forgetting a birthday or anniversary, anger at your mistakes or bad behavior, not being punctual occasionally, getting harshly criticized, name calling, ridicule, insults, and put downs are bad or hurtful behaviors but they are not immoral behaviors and can be forgiven if they don’t exist all the time but only exist occasionally.   

Bad behaviors are not very pleasant and can be the source for much anger and temporary misery but they are usually transient phenomenon which you can tolerate to some extent in your life and relationship.   Relationships have their happy and unhappy moments and unfortunately most fallible humans are not perfect and do bad things once in a while which we should tolerate even though they make us unhappy temporarily.  

If you liked this evergreen truth blog then read more of them, about 2600 so far, or read one or more of my evergreen truth books, especially COMMON SENSE, rays of truth in a human world filled with myths and deceptions.

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